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  <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810</id>
  <title>jules2810</title>
  <subtitle>jules2810</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>jules2810</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2008-08-21T11:21:03Z</updated>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810:1542</id>
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    <title>16 things to do at a Wal-Mart</title>
    <published>2008-08-21T11:17:15Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-21T11:21:03Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, &lt;br /&gt;" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&amp;amp;M's on lay away. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;9. Look right into the security camera; &amp;amp; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. &lt;br /&gt;"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!" &lt;/p&gt;</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810:1457</id>
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    <title>Kate Nash - The Nicest Thing</title>
    <published>2008-06-06T14:01:46Z</published>
    <updated>2008-06-06T14:08:06Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;font face="Verdana" size="2"&gt;&lt;lj-embed id="2" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;font size="3"&gt;&lt;font color="#333333"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Kate Nash - The Nicest Thing&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;All I know is that you're so nice&lt;br /&gt;You're the nicest thing I've seen&lt;br /&gt;I wish that we could give it a go&lt;br /&gt;See if we could be something&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish I was your favorite girl&lt;br /&gt;I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world&lt;br /&gt;I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile&lt;br /&gt;I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish you couldn't figure me out&lt;br /&gt;But you always wanna know what I was about&lt;br /&gt;I wish you'd hold my hand&lt;br /&gt;When I was upset&lt;br /&gt;I wish you'd never forget&lt;br /&gt;The look on my face when we first met&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish you had a favorite beauty spot&lt;br /&gt;That you loved secretly&lt;br /&gt;'Cause it was on a hidden bit&lt;br /&gt;That nobody else could see&lt;br /&gt;Basically, I wish that you loved me&lt;br /&gt;I wish that you needed me&lt;br /&gt;I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,&lt;br /&gt;Actually I meant three&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish that without me your heart would break&lt;br /&gt;I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake&lt;br /&gt;I wish that without me you couldn't eat&lt;br /&gt;I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen&lt;br /&gt;And I wish that we could see if we could be something&lt;br /&gt;Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&amp;nbsp;</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810:1104</id>
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    <title>Newbie</title>
    <published>2008-06-06T13:34:44Z</published>
    <updated>2008-06-06T14:09:06Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;&lt;font size="3"&gt;Aaarghh!!&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;I'm sitting behind my computer trying to figure out how Live Journal works, but I can't get done what&amp;nbsp;I want! I'm trying the whole afternoon now! Well, at least I have a few images and a background image.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You see, I'm a newbie!:D&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810:978</id>
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    <title>Once &amp; Again</title>
    <published>2008-06-05T14:12:37Z</published>
    <updated>2008-06-05T20:39:28Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;lj-embed id="1" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jules2810:610</id>
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    <title>Kids Are Quick</title>
    <published>2008-06-05T14:10:44Z</published>
    <updated>2008-06-06T14:10:31Z</updated>
    <category term="funny"/>
    <category term="kids"/>
    <content type="html">&lt;font size="3"&gt;&amp;nbsp;Kids Are Quick&lt;br /&gt;____________________________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .&lt;br /&gt;MARIA: Here it is.&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?&lt;br /&gt;CLASS: Maria.&lt;br /&gt;____________________________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?&lt;br /&gt;JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.&lt;br /&gt;________________________________________&lt;wbr&gt;&lt;/wbr&gt;__&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'&lt;br /&gt;GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: No, that's wrong&lt;br /&gt;GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you a sked me how I spell it.&lt;br /&gt;________________________________________&lt;wbr&gt;&lt;/wbr&gt;____&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?&lt;br /&gt;DONALD: H I J K L M N O.&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: What are you talking about?&lt;br /&gt;DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.&lt;br /&gt;_____________ _____________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.&lt;br /&gt;WINNIE: Me!&lt;br /&gt;________________________________________&lt;wbr&gt;&lt;/wbr&gt;__&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?&lt;br /&gt;GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.&lt;br /&gt;_______________________________________&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'&lt;br /&gt;MILLIE: I is..&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'&lt;br /&gt;MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'&lt;br /&gt;_________________________________&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?&lt;br /&gt;LOUIS: Because George sti ll had the axe in his hand.&lt;br /&gt;______________________________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?&lt;br /&gt;SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.&lt;br /&gt;______________________________&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?&lt;br /&gt;CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.&lt;br /&gt;___________________________________&lt;br /&gt;TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?&lt;br /&gt;HAROLD: A teacher&lt;/font&gt;</content>
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